Posted on: Wednesday, June 29, 2016 @ 9:31 AM | 1 comment(s)
Almost one thousands kilometers away from home ..
Living alone, out of my comfort zone with new environment, new places, new languages, new faces, new cultures, I just don’t have any options. Adopting to new those things, far from your own….. was extremely rocky.
I still remember my first step in this place, odd and cold. I felt like an outsider. I felt different. I felt lost.
Starting my journey by taking a major that far away from my expectation. Carrying every irony that I should left behind.
Studying English was one of my hassle. 12 years in the top of remedial list, always making me extremely insane.
Dictionary, Vocabulary, Grammar, Listening , Practicing, and insulting by everyone are my best friends during months before I’m in.
A city of dream, they called it.
And here I am.
No more hugs. No more home.
I thought that my first year is the most difficult one, but… let me start my story.
Wondering alone, I feel like a new born baby. Knowing nothing. Trying to fit every class, every corner, every spot just to make sure that I can survive.
Walking further, I know that I belong here except the fact, deep inside my heart, I feel so lonely.
Having fun with my friends from different major, different home, different age, and different culture are still not making me relived.
And I finally I found someone that called me her best friend.
We spent almost, yes almost three years together.
I know I understand the sayings about when you fully trust a person, without any doubt, you get one of these two result, a person for life, or a lesson for life.
That time, through that person, I got a lesson for life.
Lately came another one, but this time as my love. Sweet words, kisses, hugs during the storms, laugh, and smile. With that person, I started to use both my hands not to shut everybody mouth but to cover my ears. But still, betrayal, tears, and pain. Again, I got a lesson for life.
In my very last year, I lost everything. I lost my best friend, I lost my love, the saddest thing, I lost my time.
I started to make my self busy. Getting involved in 3 gigs at once. Missed my breakfast and lunch. At that time, I swear to myself not to trust anybody. Not again.
Since I believe there will be a rainbow after a big storms, I keep living my life.
But this time, I started to learn how to hate people.
I became a very bad person.
Living with hatred. That was me.
But it doesn’t stay long. I love my jobs. I met a lot of new people. I am enjoying every laugh they had with me. I love hearing them calling my name, I like the fact that I connect many people.
Soon I realize … Staying bad when I am not is not the cure of my pain.
I have learnt a lot…
Realizing that this is almost the end, I set my self to relieve.
My pages in this city of dreams may be come to the end.
And I really can’t wait to start my next pages.