Almost one thousands kilometers away from home .. Living alone, out of my comfort zone with new environment, new places, new languages, n...


Almost one thousands kilometers away from home ..
Living alone, out of my comfort zone with new environment, new places, new languages, new faces, new cultures, I just don’t have any options. Adopting to new those things, far from your own….. was extremely rocky.
I still remember my first step in this place, odd and cold. I felt like an outsider. I felt different.  I felt lost.
Starting my journey by taking a major that far away from my expectation. Carrying every irony that I should left behind.
Studying English was one of my hassle. 12 years in the top of remedial list, always making me extremely insane.
Dictionary, Vocabulary, Grammar, Listening , Practicing, and insulting by everyone are my best friends during months before I’m in.
A city of dream, they called it.
And here I am.
No more hugs. No more home.
I thought that my first year is the most difficult one, but… let me start my story.
Wondering alone, I feel like a new born baby. Knowing nothing. Trying to fit every class, every corner, every spot just to make sure that I can survive.
Walking further, I know that I belong here except the fact, deep inside my heart, I feel so lonely.
Having fun with my friends from different major, different home, different age, and different culture are still not making me relived.
And I finally I found someone that called me her best friend.
We spent almost, yes almost three years together.
I know I understand the sayings about when you fully trust a person, without any doubt, you get one of these two result, a person for life, or a lesson for life.
That time, through that person, I got a lesson for life.
Lately came another one, but this time as my love. Sweet words, kisses, hugs during the storms, laugh, and smile. With that person, I started to use both my hands not to shut everybody mouth but to cover my ears. But still, betrayal, tears, and pain. Again, I got a lesson for life.
In my very last year, I lost everything. I lost my best friend, I lost my love, the saddest thing, I lost my time.
I started to make my self busy. Getting involved in 3 gigs at once. Missed my breakfast and lunch. At that time, I swear to myself not to trust anybody. Not again.
Since I believe there will be a rainbow after a big storms, I keep living my life.
But this time, I started to learn how to hate people.
I became a very bad person.
Living with hatred. That was me.
But it doesn’t stay long. I love my jobs. I met a lot of new people. I am enjoying every laugh they had with me. I love hearing them calling my name, I like the fact that I connect many people.
Soon I realize … Staying bad when I am not is not the cure of my pain.
Four years….
I have learnt a lot…
Realizing that this is almost the end, I set my self to relieve.
My pages in this city of dreams may be come to the end.
And I really can’t wait to start my next pages.
Thank you Yogyakarta.