#Sayings1

Almost one thousands kilometers away from home ..

Living alone, out of my comfort zone with new environment, new places, new languages, new faces, new cultures, I just don’t have any options. Adopting to new those things, far from your own….. was extremely rocky.

I still remember my first step in this place, odd and cold. I felt like an outsider. I felt different.  I felt lost.

Starting my journey by taking a major that far away from my expectation. Carrying every irony that I should left behind.

Studying English was one of my hassle. 12 years in the top of remedial list, always making me extremely insane.

Dictionary, Vocabulary, Grammar, Listening , Practicing, and insulting by everyone are my best friends during months before I’m in.

A city of dream, they called it.

And here I am.

No more hugs. No more home.

I thought that my first year is the most difficult one, but… let me start my story.

Wondering alone, I feel like a new born baby. Knowing nothing. Trying to fit every class, every corner, every spot just to make sure that I can survive.

Walking further, I know that I belong here except the fact, deep inside my heart, I feel so lonely.

Having fun with my friends from different major, different home, different age, and different culture are still not making me relived.

And I finally I found someone that called me her best friend.

We spent almost, yes almost three years together.

I know I understand the sayings about when you fully trust a person, without any doubt, you get one of these two result, a person for life, or a lesson for life.

That time, through that person, I got a lesson for life.

Lately came another one, but this time as my love. Sweet words, kisses, hugs during the storms, laugh, and smile. With that person, I started to use both my hands not to shut everybody mouth but to cover my ears. But still, betrayal, tears, and pain. Again, I got a lesson for life.

In my very last year, I lost everything. I lost my best friend, I lost my love, the saddest thing, I lost my time.

I started to make my self busy. Getting involved in 3 gigs at once. Missed my breakfast and lunch. At that time, I swear to myself not to trust anybody. Not again.

Since I believe there will be a rainbow after a big storms, I keep living my life.

But this time, I started to learn how to hate people.

I became a very bad person.

Living with hatred. That was me.

But it doesn’t stay long. I love my jobs. I met a lot of new people. I am enjoying every laugh they had with me. I love hearing them calling my name, I like the fact that I connect many people.

Soon I realize … Staying bad when I am not is not the cure of my pain.

Four years….

I have learnt a lot…

Realizing that this is almost the end, I set my self to relieve.

My pages in this city of dreams may be come to the end.

And I really can’t wait to start my next pages.

Thank you Yogyakarta.